I am very very poor.

I recently got a bit of a hike.I was very very happy. Then I heard someone else also has got a hike. I invited them to my place for a tit-a-tit.After the tit-a-tit,I was left a bit dazed. Below is my humdble try to jot down those golden words pf these two great souls of our country!!

Me:Welcome welcome sirs!!

Mullu: Peeleze. Hindi mein baataon.(Please speak in Hindi).

Lallu: Arre naaaihhiin naahin...mullu you eespeak in eengleesh also. Saauresh Dada,u eespeak in Eegleesh..no proublem!!

Mullu: Bhaiyya..(But implied)

Me: Okk. Sirs yoou got a hike..
both stopping me abruptly

Lallu: you call it aaaaa hike!! Pagglaai gayore11(You have gone mad!). tin guna hi to baaddhe haain.(only 3 times,hike).

Me: That's ****** 300% hike!!

Lallu: Aur humhaar...22 haaton kaun khilaayeeb??(who will feed my 22 hands??)
Upaar se jamaai,sala..do you..aaaa...hebb anee idea??

Mullu: Humhara..to ek hi kaafi haain!(Mine one is enough).

Me:Sir,the perks you get..

Both in unison: Arrey aarey dada...hum Perk khaantain hi naahin.(We do not eat Perk)

Me: Sir,I mean Perks..the facilities..

Agitated. Arrey bole na kauno Perk werk humkhaate nahin.(We told you,we do not eat perk).

Me: Jo subidha..(the facilities)..

Lallu: Arrey.we are consstentlly tellinh you,there is no facilities. Chara ke liyen paaisa kaun dega. (Who will give money for the cattle fodder..?)

Mullu: And I hebb to build scools and estatues. Competition dekhen hon..(Have you seen the competition?)

Lallu:See. Your boss get how salary?

Me:Cheques.

Lallu:Arrey...uu kaa huhe paata naahin??(Like,I do not know that?)

Me realising..aah..eer...dunno,sir.Huge might be. Per Annum.

Mullu: So..hum to saabse upar hai.(We are on the top).

Lallu: Sarkari Mulazimo se...to baas..so just one ruppee more.

Me: Sir you people were talking about price rise. This money comes from the pocket
of those same people your were fighting for (or rather pretending!)

Lallu amd Mullu: Kaa?(What?)

Me: Nothing..

Mullu: Dekho Bhaiyyaa..mera desh..mera gaon..mera pariwar( My Country is my village,my family)
Aab phamily ki dekh bhaal kaaise kaarenge..(How will I look after my family?)

Me: Sir the perks you get adds uoto lakhs per month..

Mullu: Aab ek jhapar maarengey..( I will slap you)..aaur ekbaar bhi Perk bola na(If you once more say Perk!!)..

Me:Ok. My fault. (To Myself): Our fault.

Me(Aloud): Sir the media..

Lallu: Dich media is a complete dounkey!! Aare bekaar mein hi bakaar baakr kaartein hain..(This media person,,just uselessly chatter away!)

Me: Exactly sir. But you need them,,right?

Mullu: Even they need us..

Me: Ah!! Yes.
Sir,just imagine if you would have taken a bit less,and given that extra amount to your atate,there would have been so much development.

Both: Ka? develophmenth? Aarey dada,jisko idhaar rehena hai raahenge..baakiyon Mumbai,Dellhi naahin to Kalkatta bhej denge..(The person who does not wish to remain in our states,can go to Mumbai.Delhi and Kolkata).
Samjhe..(understood?)

Me. Yes. No.

Lallu: Aarey ka yes no yes no?(Arrey what yes no,yes no?)Zyada paaisa aayega..tabhi to desh ki sewaa kaareinge naa..(if only more money comes,then only we can do good for the country!)

Me: Really?

Mullu:Arrey yess..realliih!!Vote Bank kikasam..(Swear on my vote Bank!!)

Me: True true. The most amazing bank of our country.Always ready to give loans.And never send goons to recover them!!

Both: Ka?(what?)

Me: Nothing.

Both: Haan,nothing.

Lallu: Our basic,ij onli 60,000. Aaur,idhar udhaar milake..baas 2 laakh hi to hua..(The basic is just 60000,and with all perks it is 2 lakhs.)

Mullu: Ka hua re ..itna chup kaahein?(Why are you so quite?)

Me:Nothing.

Both: Aaur batao.(Tell something more).

Me: Tired. Sir.

Both: To hum chalein.( so we can leave?)

Me: Yes.

Both: Jai Hind.

Me: Jai..what?